


that minute never came

by Bayliwick



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angry Steve Rogers, Angst, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Bucky Barnes Is a Good Bro, F/M, Heavy Angst, Last words your soulmate says is how you know, POV Natasha Romanov, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Steve Rogers-centric, Tony Stark Is a Good Bro, Two Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2020-10-27 21:45:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20767415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bayliwick/pseuds/Bayliwick
Summary: "The portal opens and the last glimpse he has of his soulmate is her being sucked into the portal at vortex speed."Soulmate AU Romanogers. Heavy Angst Warning.





	1. minutes ticked by, but i never saw you

**Author's Note:**

> New Edit: Months ago Nomad left a comment on here about a plot inconsistency that I didn't figure out until just recently (props to them for seeing it while I was an idiot and didn't). It's minor so it shouldn't take away from reading this one-shot but if you can spot it while reading it I will give you virtual cookies (with chocolate chips). The answer will be at the end :)
> 
> Old Note:  
Hi, please don't hate me for this. There is a lot of angst in this - this is your warning that if you don't like angst, please don't read it.
> 
> Italics are past events while the main storyline is normal text.
> 
> This is unbeta'd and I don't own Marvel.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve-centric, he learns who his soulmate is during the events of Endgame and faces the sad realization it brings.

"Be careful. Look out for each other. This is the fight of our lives." He looks at his team as he speaks. They're no strangers to risk, but he wants all of them to come back from this.

He shares a glance with Tony, knowing that his friend is risking a lot for this; as they all are. "Whatever it takes," he says. The mutual understanding is unspoken between them.

Bruce readies the sequence and steps up to take his place among them as Steve looks around one last time as the counter begins.

_Five._

Natasha stands to his right, always his second-hand, even if their destination isn't the same. She sends him a smirk as she bounces on her feet, eager to get back into the action once again. He knows she's been itching for this purpose again, trying to claw back from the defeat five years ago.

_Four._

A wave of joy floods his chest, he loves seeing her this amped up and ready for a fight. She's every bit the bad-ass warrior he knows she is. "Good luck." He says to the team, but his eyes are on hers.

_Three._

There's a flash of something in the depths of her forest eyes, but before he can identify it – it's gone. Her eyes study him for a moment, but her smirk makes a swift return and she resumes her little dance.

_Two._

"See you in a minute." She quips, casting her gaze upwards as the machine above them opens up. Their helmets equip themselves and he's a second early to the "ride to vomit town" as Scott described it as reality hits him.

_One._

The portal opens and the last glimpse he has of his soulmate is her being sucked into the portal at vortex speed.

* * *

_Tony knew who his soulmate was. Was proud of it and flaunted it to all of the Avengers._

Hey, Pep.

_Scrawled across his upper left chest, right above his heart. Tony said it was fitting, the name of his heart over top of his heart. Pepper just rolled her eyes before kissing him to shut him up._

_Steve never caught a glimpse of Pepper's, but she confided in him one rare evening, "Tony never stays still. Even when he's sleeping, he'd still be dreaming of ways to improve his designs or make up new ones."_

_A nearly empty bottle of red wine accompanied the very full glass in her hand as she sipped it. Steve nodded along, as the rest of the Avengers were sprawled out across the common area from too much alcohol. Thor, Bruce, Clint, and Maria were in front of the flat-screen TV, the Mario Kart theme song still playing quietly in the background. Nat was nestled up against a pillow on Steve's right, while to his left sat Pepper. Tony took up half of the couch that Steve, Nat, and Pepper occupied, his head resting on Pepper's lap._

_The ginger threaded her fingers through his dark hair, smiling softly as his scruff rubbed against her thigh. The genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist twitched in his slumber, mumbling something under his breath as he shifted._

"_My words for him are 'you can rest now'." Pepper continued, her voice acquiring the fretful edge she reserved just for Tony. "With words like that, I know that it's going to be him who goes first. And every time there's a mission, I worry."_

_Steve knew it was the wine causing her posture to slip as a stray tear escaped. "I can't live without him, Steve. And I don't know what I'm going to do when that day comes."_

_Her pale fingers trailed down to Tony's arc reactor, circling around the glow through the cotton shirt. Steve glanced down at his wrist, where his broken watch hid his own set of words._

"_We all share the same worries when we suit up. You're not alone, Pepper. We're all here for each other." He offered her a comforting hand on her shoulder, sharing her exact fears about his own soulmate, whoever they may be._

_Pepper smiled, "Thank you, Steve." She wiped away the tears on her face and placed the glass down. "I think I'm going to head to my room now. Tony will be fine here waking up to his Asgardian mead induced hangover."_

_He chuckled as she took the bottle of wine with her, amazed that she could still walk in a straight line after all the wine she drank herself, but he was learning not to underestimate Pepper Potts._

_Deciding for himself that his bed was more comfortable than the couch, he rose to leave when he glanced back at the red-head curled up around her pillow. She clutched it to her stomach protectively, and Steve felt the familiar flutter in his stomach as his eyes traced her sleeping figure. She was always so guarded when she was awake, constantly scanning for exits or sizing up everyone she met for threats._

_He loved seeing her like this, in rare moments of vulnerability. He itched to draw her and knew come morning he would have at least three sketches complete. (Not that he would ever tell her, but she was his favorite subject in the modern era.) Walking over to pick her up carefully, he carried her to the elevator while she held the pillow closer to her chest. He knew Nat would be in a killer mood come morning with her hangover, so he decided to try and spare her from the chaos that would be Tony and Thor come dawn._

_Making his way up to her floor, he moved her towards her bedroom. Laying her down gently, he made sure to move her pillow to her side. She loosened her grip on it, instead clinging to him. "Nat." He whispered softly, "You've got to let go."_

_She snuggled closer to him, pulling him into her bed. "No," she protested, her voice thick with sleep. "You warm. Stay."_

_His resolve crumbled quickly, knowing he could never say no to her. "Just for a bit." Climbing in next to her, he draped an arm around her as she snuggled into his chest with a happy sigh._

* * *

The familiar sounds of New York City barely penetrate his shock as he stares blankly at the broken wreckage in front of him. Tony's giving the orders, Scott and Bruce nodding along. There're distant screams and sounds of fighting, but Steve can only focus on the nausea of his stomach. _It's Nat. My soulmate is Nat._

"Cap? Steve? You alright?" Bruce asks, looking down at the patriotic-clothed man with concern.

Scott jokes at the look on his face, "I told you to strap in, didn't I? A one-way ticket to vomit town."

Steve doesn't listen. His nausea rises and he hurls all over Tony's Guccis.

_One of us is going to die today._

* * *

"_You're lucky, punk," Bucky said in a rare moment of seriousness as they strolled down the pier, the sun sinking below the Atlantic and the dozens of carnival lights beginning to shine bright._

_He snorted, "Lucky to not be eligible for recruitment?" Steve's voice acquired a bitter edge as he sank his teeth into a corn dog._

_His best friend stopped and gave him a sharp look, "Stevie, you go onto the battlefield and the Nazis will kill ya in seconds. These enlistment officers are doing you a favor. I know you don't see it now, but you'll appreciate it one day."_

_Biting the inside of his cheek instead of retorting, the scrawny boy just kept walking, his half-eaten corn dog limp in his hand. Bucky followed close by, continued with a joking tone, "Maybe you'll finally meet your soulmate, with all the other guys away the girls will only have eyes for you."_

_Steve stopped, exhaling angrily. "You don't get it, Bucky! I just want the chance to do what every other man in this country gets! I wanna fight the Nazis!" The words on his wrist tingled slightly, but he ignored it as he glared at his best friend clad in his perfectly ironed uniform._

"_I'm going to keep trying because it's the right thing to do. My country needs me." Steve stalked off back towards the city, but Bucky caught his arm easily._

"_Slow down, Stevie!" His blue eyes meet Steve's matching irises, "I'm sorry for joking around, but you've gotta understand that if you went into battle, you'd likely die. I can't save myself from this war, but fate's tryin' to save you."_

_He clasped Steve's wrist to make the scrawny boy look at the words written there. "You've got a real nice dame out there waiting for you, Stevie. Don't go tryin' to get yourself killed before you get the chance to meet her."_

_Pulling his wrist back, Steve matched Bucky's earnest plea with stubbornness. "I don't care. Chances are I've already met her and she took one look and ran away forever. 'See you in a minute' sounds pretty much like she was just making an excuse and fled."_

"_Punk—" Bucky started, but Steve cut him off._

"_I don't want to talk about it anymore." His eyes tracing the words, "I just wish I could fight for my country that's all."_

_Sensing the walls that Steve was putting up, he changed the topic. "Well, I've got a few more hours until I have to be at the base. How about we explore the pier a bit more?"_

_Slinging his arm over Steve's frail shoulders, he gestured down to the sad corn dog that Steve still held, "How about I buy you another dog?"_

_Flashing his white teeth at Bucky, Steve rolled his eyes good-naturedly at his best friend's antics. "Alright."_

_The next morning at the bus station, Bucky hugged his mother and sister good-bye before turning to his best friend. "Take care of them for me, will you?"_

"_Of course!" He replied, "Don't forget to take care of yourself too. I won't be there to play nurse for all the cuts and bruises you get."_

"_From the fights that you start!" Bucky glowered at him while Becca Barnes giggled in the background. Giving Steve a fake glare, Bucky turned and wrapped the little girl up in one last bear hug in retaliation. Her shrieks of laughter echoed down the street as other families saying emotional good-byes chuckled at the light-hearted moment._

"_That's enough, James." Winifred Barnes admonished her son as he put Becca down. Bucky looked down at his mother with the half-smile he always gave her when she got cross with him. "Sorry, Ma." He crouched down to give her another hug, while she wiped her straying tears away hastily._

"_Just come home to me, my boy." His mother told him, wagging her finger playfully in his face. Bucky saluted to her, "Yes, ma'am." He kissed her on the cheek before doing the same to Becca._

_Picking up his bag and slinging it over his shoulder, he turned to Steve with worried eyes. "I know you'll keep trying to enlist, I ain't stupid. Just try to stay alive and I'll make the same promise, okay?"_

_Steve nodded before reaching his hand out to shake Bucky's, but his friend rolled his eyes at the formality, pulling him into a tight hug. After they separated, Bucky pulled a small box out of his pocket, "Before I forget, here."_

_Opening it, Steve saw it was the watch that his friend always wore. A tired leather strap with silver plating and the initials J.B.B. engraved underneath; it was one of the few valuables the Barnes family hadn't been forced to barter away during the depression. Gaping he stuttered, "Buck, I-I can't take this."_

"_Then think of it as borrowing." Bucky said, "I know you think of the words on your wrist as a curse, so use this to cover it up until you're finally ready to look at them." Flashing one last grin he added cheekily, "Besides it'll remind you of me."_

_Steve punched him in response, "You punk."_

_Bucky waved as he boarded the bus along with the other soldiers while Steve stood next to Winifred and Becca. As the bus drove away, Becca ran along the street with the other children shouting their good-byes while Steve inspected the watch for a moment before clasping tightly it onto his wrist, feeling the cool metal against his skin. Turning it over he saw that Bucky was right, it completely hid the words._

* * *

Tony mutters several curses as he discards his shoes in an alleyway. Bruce hesitantly left to find the wizard while Scott is doing unnecessary reconnaissance near the tower. Sitting on the pavement nearby, staring blankly at the wreckage is Steve.

Trying to hide his worry, Tony saunters over to Cap to sit down next to him. "You owe me a very expensive pair of sneakers, you know."

Steve looks down at his grey socks, mumbling an apology but nothing else. Trying a different tactic, Tony prods, "Nerves? Or something more?"

Sighing heavily, his friend covers his face with his hands. "Something more. Something terrible."

* * *

_Not everyone had words on their skin. He'd always known that, but it made it harder when he found himself falling in love with Peggy Carter._

_Intelligent, witty, and able to knock a full man to the ground in one punch, she either had people worshipping the ground she walked or dashing away in fear. But for Steve, it was the fact that she saw his worth. Peggy had faith in him, made him feel like he was more than his extensive list of illnesses, and actually cared about his well-being. Besides the Barnes family and his Ma, no one had ever done that before._

_So, he fell for her. Hard._

_One night, he was hunched over various maps, trying to figure out where Hydra was planning on striking next when she found him. Her hair fell down in gentle waves, free from the pins as it lavishly framed her porcelain features._

"_Hey, Peg," He gave her a tired smile, before focusing back on the maps._

_She came over to observe his work, but her eyes saw the slump in his shoulders and the bags underneath his eyes. "Steve, you need rest," Peggy told him, curling her hand around his bicep._

"_Nah, I'm fine."_

"_When was the last time you slept?"_

"_I don't know. I don't need it though."_

"_Really? I don't recall Dr. Eskrine telling me that not needing sleep was one of the abilities from the serum." Peggy deadpanned, her brown eyes firm as she tugged his arm again._

"_Come on, Hydra will still be here when you wake." She gave him no room to protest as she began to pull him out of the tent._

_The commandos were gathered around a small bonfire when they passed, Peggy's grip on his arm still tight as he struggled along with his sleep-deprived mind. Bucky wolf-whistled as he spotted the pair, "Oh look there, boys! Stevie's in trouble!"_

_Following his lead, the rest of the soldiers began to tease them, motivated by the high amount of alcohol in their systems. Steve's ears flamed in embarrassment, but before he could go over and give Bucky a good flogging, Peggy pulled him away._

"_Ignore them, they'll likely not remember in the morning. The amount of alcohol they've consumed has turned them into a bunch of insipid and idiotic monkeys." He stifled a laugh at her colorful insults as he continued behind her._

"_Aren't you worried they'll remember and what they'll assume about the two of us going off towards my tent together?" He asked, somewhat emboldened by his curiosity, but he blamed it mostly on his own stupidity._

_Finally allowing her hand to drop from his arm, Peggy turned abruptly. Her brown eyes met his, mischief dancing in them. "Whatever are you talking about, Steven? What do _you_ assume about us going off towards your tent together?" _

_Blinking at her blankly, he gulped. "I, uh, um…" Scratching the back of his neck, he just gave her a bashful look._

_He's still not sure what she saw on his face that made her smile that night, but her lips curled upwards before she pressed a brief kiss to his cheek. "Goodnight, Steve," And with that, she was gone._

* * *

"Who is it?" Is all Tony can think to ask when Steve tells him.

"I think you know." Steve bites out, more out of anger at the situation than Tony. He puts his head in his hands, groaning, "_Hell_, it was always her." His words are slightly muffled from talking through his hands, but the pain in them is clear.

It only takes a millisecond for his genius brain to comprehend what this all means… _oh shit indeed_.

Silence falls between them for a few minutes as Tony doesn't even attempt to tease him with "language", both too lost in the misery the knowledge brought them. The fighting sounds creep closer as each moment crawls by, forcing them to confront their situation.

The com crackles before Scott's tinny voice filters through. "Guys, I figured out the best point of entry. Where are you?"

"We still have a mission to do," Tony states, hating his reality more and more.

"Whatever it takes," Steve repeats his earlier words.

"Are you sure? We can make it work without you." He offers, knowing the answer before he finishes his sentence.

"No. I've faced death before. I'll do it again." Captain America stands tall, grasping his shield and holding out his free hand to Tony.

The billionaire grasps it, feeling the rough calluses under his own oil-covered finger-tips. It strikes him at that moment just how battle-worn Steve truly is. Tony always allowed his fears to control him, but Steve let his protective instincts and sense of justice lead him. Admiration fills him for his willingness to go forward when he knows his outcome is not favorable and how accepting the Captain is of his own demise.

Tony bites his impulsive tongue as one thought lingers. As prepared as Captain America is to die today, is he prepared to keep on living if the death predicted wasn't his?

* * *

"_Steve, is that you? Are you alright?" Her voice was tinny, cracking through the transmission._

"_Peggy! Schmidt's dead."_

"_What about the plane?"_

_As he fidgeted with the controls, the realization of what he's gotta do was hitting him. "That's a little bit tougher to explain."_

"_Give me your coordinates, I'll find you a safe landing site."_

"_There's not going to be a safe landing. But I can try and force it down." He swallowed sharply as he spoke._

"_I'll get Howard on the line, he'll know what to do."_

"_There's not enough time. This thing's moving too fast and it's heading for New York. I gotta put her in the water." The tip of the plane is breaking through the cloud barrier now, he can see the deep blue waiting to greet him._

"_Please don't do this. We have time. We can work it out." He can hear the sob she's choking back, even though the bad connection._

"_Right now, I'm in the middle of nowhere. If I wait any longer a lot of people are gonna die. Peggy, this is my choice." He said with conviction, Bucky's face flashing before him._

"_Peggy?"_

"_I'm here." Her voice was trembling, matching the tremors in Steve's hands as he forced the thrust downwards._

"_I'm gonna need a rain check on that dance."_

"_Alright. A week, next Saturday, at the Stork Club." A smile barely graced his lips as he thought of the dance that would never come, her in red while he wore his army uniform._

"_You got it."_

"_Eight o'clock on the dot. Don't you dare be late. Understood?" He chuckled, hoping she would never change._

"_You know, I still don't know how to dance." The water grew closer, dark and foreboding._

_The words on his wrist began to tingle. He waits for her to say them._

"_I'll show you how. Just be there."_

"_We'll have the band play somethin' slow. I'd hate to step on your…" And then the cold hit him, plummeting him into darkness. As the water crashed through the window, his last thought was of how she wasn't his soulmate._

* * *

He's tired from fighting himself, now knowing how Nat feels when she complains about his stamina.

("I know I'm good, Rogers." She wheezed after the tenth mile while he's barely broken a sweat, "But you're a whole other level.")

But he shakes the memory away, slipping out the back door of the tower with the mind stone in tow.

He's fine, barely a scratch on him. Usually, he'd be feeling good, he loves the adrenaline rush a good fight gives him, but not today.

_See you in a minute._

Every second he's still breathing, alive and well is another second the pit in his stomach grows larger.

So, when Tony tells him there's a problem and Scott is pacing and shouting, Steve feels the calm rush in. Maybe it's the new mission objective, but another (darker) part of himself is thankful that he and Tony will be going into the past with no easy (hopefully none) way back.

* * *

_The world didn't make sense anymore. The buildings were taller, people wore a lot _less_ clothing, and screens came in every shape and size now. Worst of all, everyone he knew was dead._

_It'd been only a few weeks since he'd woken up, and the psychiatrists said he was doing "as well as can be expected given the circumstances." He went through an average of ten punching bags a day before Fury finally gave him something to do._

The Avengers Initiative_. Saving the world again with a new team since the world is still a dangerous place. He had nothing better to do so he said sure._

_And that's the story of how he found himself fighting alien creatures and a man-child with an over-sized ego, he thought snidely to himself as Agent Romanoff stood next him surveying the damage done to New York._

_She wasn't as good of a marksman as her fellow agent, but she was damn good. A bit reckless, but he enjoyed it when she rocketed off his shield with no hesitation. After Loki was in handcuffs and Fury offered him a job, he looked forward to their partnership._

_Never once did he think any less of her, Peggy and his Ma taught him that. Together they were a seamless team, and she took him under her wing as he adapted to the new world and grieved for his old friends._

_For the first time since he woke up from the ice, he felt like his life had a new meaning beyond missions and saving the world._

* * *

His breath is sucked away as realizes he's in Peggy's office. _She's here._

She's still beautiful, even with the traces of grey twinning with her brown locks and age lines across her forehead. For a moment, a flicker of what might have been coming to mind. Two kids, a boy, and a girl, with brown curly hair and bright brown eyes while he and Peggy watch together from a porch swing.

The thought lingers for seconds before the brown hair of his children turns to red and his daughter has green eyes, not brown. The woman next to him is Nat, not Peggy. It all feels so right in his heart, it's what should've been.

He's cursing the universe again for this fate (he can't even bring himself to think that it might be _her_ who's going to die…) when another, naively hopeful thought comes to his mind. _What if we're not meant to die, just to stay apart forever in time?_

* * *

_Snow crunched beneath his boots as he shivered from the cold wind coming across the lake. Taking a huge gulp of the hot chocolate, he relished the warmth it brought as he swallowed. He took another swig, only to find the cup empty._

_Disappointment etched onto his face and a laugh sounded from his right. Small snowflakes stuck to her hair, dotting the flaming locks while she sent him a smirk. "Done already?"_

"_Sadly." He threw the rejected cup into a nearby trash bin as they walked past it._

"_Do you want to get another?" She pointed to another coffee cart just ahead, "I'll pay this time since you got the first round."_

_The cold was creeping in again, so he nodded eagerly as he wrapped his coat tighter around him. When she returned, he eagerly tasted it, only to spit it out a second later._

"_Hah-hot!" He whimpered as his tongue burned from the scalding liquid._

_Natasha laughed melodiously from beside him. "They didn't teach you to wait for hot drinks to cool down in the '40s?"_

"_They did," Steve pouted as he viewed the drink with betrayal. "I just really don't like being cold."_

_Sensing the gravity to his words, Natasha pressed slightly. "Is it because of the ice?"_

_He eyed her for a moment. Their partnership was still relatively young, and he knew she was a very private person, not quick to trust. Others told him to be careful around her, but in moments where she showed genuine concern like this, he felt like he could._

"_Yeah." He told her quietly. She nodded as if she understood, making him wonder how much she did actually understand. He knew so little about her past._

_She stayed silent for a moment before pulling him behind her, "I can help. A movie night at my place, snuggled up underneath a thousand blankets so the cold doesn't even try to bother you. Sound good?"_

_Smiling softly at her, Steve followed along eagerly. That was how their movie night tradition began._

* * *

"Cap," Tony greets him as Steve hands him the red vial of particles. The key to going back to the future.

("It's a classic, Steve! You've got to watch it." Her green eyes twinkled as she added it to the list.)

"Tony." His tone is solemn. His friend (one of his best) watches him with scrutinizing eyes.

"You're coming back with me, aren't you?"

Of course, Tony knows, Tony always knows. Steve chuckles at his thought, as his friend raises an eyebrow.

"What's going on in that hard head of yours, Cap?"

("I'm alright." He told her as she checked his eyes for signs of a concussion. She brushed her red hair out of her face as she muttered, "Must be because of your hard head.")

A laugh erupts from his chest as he slaps Tony's arm, "That's funny. I'll miss your sense of humor." It's a defense mechanism against his true emotions, and Tony knows it.

Tony deadpans, "You're seriously doing this?" The expression on his face is incredulous, "I never took you for a coward, Steve."

His hands are on the expensive suit, pushing the billionaire up against the wall roughly. "I am _not _a coward." He growls out, "I have been through hell and back. First during the war, and then in New York and D.C., then the Accords, then Thanos, and then these past five years trying to rebuild the world. All I want is a break."

His voice cracks as he finishes, "I think all of the fight in me is gone. I've lost my best friend twice now, I woke up in a new century, world leaders want my head, and now I might lose the one person who's never left my side?"

Loosening his grip, Tony straightens his jacket while Steve feels the tears finally fall. "She's become my everything, my anchor in this world. I can't lose her too."

"Steve," Tony starts awkwardly while scanning their surroundings furiously since there were still SHIELD agents hunting them. "I know this is hard, but you have to come back. What is here for you?"

Steve wipes the tears before they can fall too far, "Peggy. Howard. I bet the Commandos are alive too."

Tony snorts at the idiocy of this plan, although he tries to hide it behind a cough. "Look Cap, I get that you're scared, but you've got other people to come back too. Thor, Bruce, Clint, and Bucky and Sam once we reverse all this."

He doesn't mention Natasha's name, choosing his words carefully because he needs to convince Steve. "We still need to redo the mess that purple bastard made. As much as I hate to admit it, we need our leader, Steve. Which is you."

Steve's still looking at his feet, quiet. Switching methods Tony asks, "What would Natasha think if you stayed here?"

"She'd understand," Steve says.

"Wrong. She'd stand by my side and call you out for your cowardliness. Probably add in a few punches too."

"Yeah, well I think she's too dead to have an opinion now, Stark." The blond lashes out lividly.

"Cap, we don't know that."

The pit in his stomach is heavy with knowledge, "I do, Tony. I know it. I've known it since she said those words."

"Steve…" His friend puts a hand on his arm which Steve shakes off. Tony wants to argue the fact, because _Natasha can't be dead_, but he doesn't because now isn't the time. He needs to convince Steve.

"She's dead. I'm alive. That's how it works." Steve mutters bitterly. He's always been the one to survive while everyone else dies.

"We won't know for sure until we go back."

He pulls the sunglasses back over his face and generates a stolid expression. "And that's why I don't want to go back."

Steve begins to walk away when Tony pulls out his last resort, "You owe it to her to go back. Finish what we started." The blond pauses, while Tony keeps going, "After we're done, I won't stop you. Hell, I'll even help you. But until then, you owe it to her."

When his shoulders slump in defeat and he takes one last glance at Camp Lehigh.

("This is the camp where I was trained." He told her as they snuck toward the coordinates. "Change much?" She asked while he glanced at her. "A little.")

Reaching his hand out for a particle, Tony hands it to him without a word.

* * *

"_Do you believe that soulmates are real?" She asked him one day after they were finished sparring. Wanda, Vision, Sam, and Rhodey had left earlier, leaving Natasha and Steve alone in the gym._

"_Sometimes," He answered honestly, trying not to glance at the watch on his wrist. That's one secret he's managed to hide from everyone, even Nat, and he's not about to let anyone find out about it. "Why?"_

_She shrugged nonchalantly, but he knew her well enough by now to see between the lines, it's been two weeks since Bruce was last heard from and he doubts the timing of her question was a coincidence._

_Her fingers brushed against the side of her hip. "I just wonder sometimes, if I'll ever find a person who will love me. One who will stick around."_

"_Hey," He guided her so she faced him, blue meeting green. "You'll find someone one day, Nat. I'm sure of it."_

_Biting her lip, she asked, "But what if they die before I figure out it's them?"_

_He didn't have an answer for her, he just pulled her into a strong hug. She fit perfectly into his arms as he asked himself that same question._

* * *

The pit is gnawing at his stomach and bile is rising in his throat as they flash forward. He and Tony land somewhat gracefully amongst the vertigo while the others stumble around them. Cheers echo as they hug each other victoriously, except for three people.

Clint holds the orange stone in his hands as he meets Steve's knowing eyes. As her best friend sinks to his knees and Steve vomits for the second time that day, everyone else finally realizes what's wrong.

* * *

"_Hey, how come you always wear that watch?" Tony asked one day while he and Pepper were up visiting the facility. "I've been wondering for years now, seeing how it's broken and all. I could always buy you a new one, ya know."_

_The billionaire missed the stormy look that crossed Steve's face, but Pepper, ever perceptive, didn't. "Tony," she admonished, "Let it go."_

_Steve eyed the old watch, how the glass was cracked and the leather off-color and worn, but how he never dared to take it off. Tony huffed out, "Whatever," before sauntering off._

_Pepper regarded Steve for several moments before saying, "I can always have the strap replaced and a new battery put in if you'd like. So, Tony doesn't annoy you about it in the future."_

_He thought it over for a moment, "I appreciate it, Pepper. But I'd rather not."_

_She smiled politely at him before following after Tony, her heels clipped against the tile as she walked away._

* * *

There's no body, but they burn a pyre anyways on Steve's insistence. "She deserves a proper funeral," are the only real words he can get out. There're no objections as they all gather around the lake with her old striped hoodie wrapped around a bottle of Russian Vodka and a pair of her widow bites to send off.

Clint lights an arrow and shoots it with tearful eyes. The flames remind him of her hair when the sun struck it, bright and beautiful.

("What're you looking at, Rogers?" She asked as he stood mesmerized by the beams of light giving her a halo effect.)

"She'll be smiling down on us from Valhalla," Thor says as he clutches his beer sadly.

Clint looks down at the ground angrily, "It should've been me. I tried to stop her, but she said it had to be her."

Tony chimes in, "Do we know if she had any family?"

Despite still reeling from his fears coming true, he replies, "Yeah, us." He eyes the watch on his wrist and unclasps it, feeling the cool air on his skin. The imprint from the watch surrounds the inky black words scribbled across his skin.

_See you in a minute._ A promise she would never be able to keep.

"It's your fault." He startles when Clint points his finger at him, the archer's eyes on the words on his wrist. "You're her soulmate. That's why she jumped!"

Thor and Bruce turn with wide eyes to Steve while Tony rubs the side of his face, not liking how this will turn out. Steve stood to face Clint's blazing eyes, "Yeah, I'm her soulmate." His voice wavers as he finally says it aloud. "And I wish it'd been me who died instead, but we can have this argument later. We're here to honor Nat, not fight."

The archer's jaw locked, but he accepts the truth in Steve's words as he sits down to watch the fire. Following his lead, Steve holds his possession tightly as his blue eyes trace the flames twirling just above the water. Thor, Bruce, and Tony join them until the pyre finally burns out.

Afterwards, he drops the watch into the water, seeing no need for it anymore. After all this time, he doesn't want to forget anymore.

* * *

"_Captain America is considered armed and dangerous according to government –"_

"—_il est conseillé d'appeler immédiatement les fonctionnaires –__"_

"—_fugitivos van por el Capitán América, Soldado de Invierno, Falcon –"_

_As he filtered through the different channels, he paused when pictures of him, Sam, Bucky, Wanda, Clint, Scott, and Natasha flashed across the screen. _I thought she stayed with Tony,_ he thought to himself as he saw her picture._

_Horror filled him as he realized she must be a fugitive now since she allowed him and Bucky escape. _I left her behind, _guilt washed over him. Picking up one of the burner phones Clint managed to secure for him after the Raft breakout, he began to dial._

_He knew she was used to being on her own. She excelled at it in many ways, but he had let her walk away once before, he wasn't going to do it again._

"_T'Challa? Hey, it's Steve. I'm sorry about this, but I need your help."_

* * *

The world explodes after Bruce snaps his fingers.

Thanos is back and Nebula is not their Nebula.

The Avengers facility (_their _home) is destroyed. As he pulls himself out of the wreckage, he spots pieces of the couch where they shared their first kiss (he doesn't count the one on the escalator since he never got to fully enjoy that one), but he can't look at it right now.

Steve grits his teeth together as he eyes the purple bastard, just sitting there taunting them. Thor and Tony flank him, as the God of Thunder calls his weapons while Tony's nanotech form into a suit.

He hates that he came back to the present because not having her fight next by his side is his least favorite feeling in the world, but he is glad that he gets to take the son of a bitch down.

* * *

_The past six months had been hard on all of them. Wanda was quieter now, when before she had been coming out of her shell with the team. Sam was constantly tinkering, whether it's with Redwing or a different recipe for dinner, his lax personality seemed to vanish since there is no time to relax anymore._

_And Nat? She's retreated further into her Black Widow persona it seemed. She was all business, constantly surveying the crowds when they went to the market, sifting through the dark corners of the web for anyone who would be hunting them down, and training for hours since "you can never be too ready"._

_Steve supposed he changed too, become more hardened and distrustful of the world around him. He grew a beard, which Nat still teased him about (at least that didn't change) and changed his uniform colors to darker tones. He tried to keep everyone's spirits up, whether it was a few days by a beach in France or allowing Sam full control of the kitchen so he could make superb meals._

_They're constantly moving, never staying in one place too long, which would take a toll on anyone, no matter how much he tried to alleviate that change. He just worried about their well-being because they were in this position because of him._

_His mindset continued until one night, while Wanda and Sam were out buying more supplies when Nat sat down across from him and told him to stop it._

"_What?" He asked confused._

"_You need to stop acting like this is all your fault." She told him sternly. "We made our choice to stand by you, despite the consequences. That's on us, but we did it because we believe you're right. We believe in you and we followed you since you're our leader."_

"_But –"_

"_No arguing, Rogers. It is not your fault." Her face is serious before it softens slightly, "Besides, since when did you think you could _make_ me do something I didn't want to do?"_

"_I just feel awful that you all uprooted your lives for me," he admitted._

_Her smile grew fonder as she rounded the table between them, "As I said, we did it because we believe in you. And even if we didn't agree at first," she paused for a moment, letting him know that she was talking about the two of them. "I would still follow you to the ends of the earth."_

_He tried to decipher the meaning behind her words and the look in her eyes when the door opened wide to reveal their teammates, arms full of grocery bags. Before he could blink, Nat was going over to help them, leaving him to ponder her actions._

* * *

_They're back_, he thought with awe as Sam's voice rang over his comm and the portal opens to reveal the Wakandan army, Bucky in their midst. Energy surges through him as they gather, prepared to take down the alien army in front of them. Instinctively he calls Mjolnir and raises his broken shield.

"Avengers..." He takes a deep breath to steady himself. "Assemble."

_For Nat_, he thinks to himself as they charge.

* * *

_The world was definitely not this weird when he was growing up, Steve decided as he watched the aliens charge against the Wakandan barrier. Looking to his right, Natasha readied her batons. She gave him a confident nod as they charged._

* * *

"I am inevitable," Thanos says right before he snaps his fingers. Steve feels his heart stop, will the same people be taken this time or will it be a different set?

But his worries are shoved aside by a new horror: Tony has the stones. The once proclaimed billionaire, playboy, philanthropist glares down the purple bastard as he says, "And I am Iron Man."

An explosion follows as the energy pulsates through Tony's body and Steve can feel the tears in his eyes build once again. Pepper and Spiderman race to his side, where he mumbles out a weak, "Hey, Pep."

The ginger woman is crying as she strokes Tony's grime-covered cheek, "FRIDAY?"

"Life functions critical." Tony smiles through the pain, knowing that this is his moment.

"Tony. Look at me." His dark eyes meet her light ones as she continues to stroke his cheek, staying strong for him. "We're gonna be okay. You can rest now."

A second later, the arc reactor dims and Pepper lets her tears fall. Steve turns away, unable to process it all.

* * *

_His visits to the facility are frequent ever since the snap. His agreement with Nat was that during the week he worked in New York, oversaw the reconstruction while she ran the new team, and during the weekends they would always spend it together._

_Ever since they lost Bucky, Sam, Wanda, T'Challa, Vision, and countless others, they grew closer. It started for the sake of forgetting and morphed into something more._

_They had been watching the Lion King one night when he'd felt teardrops on his shoulder. It was right before the gorge scene and he asked, "What's wrong?"_

"_I don't know." She replied hastily wiping the tears away. "I guess this part just hits close to home."_

_He nodded, "I understand." He wrapped his arm around her shoulder as she looked at him with that strange look in her eyes she'd done for a few months now._

"_Do I have something on my face?"_

"_No," Nat murmured while leaning closer, "You're perfect." Her soft lips pressed against his, which he eagerly responded too._

_Pulling away for a second, "Nat –"_

"_No, Steve," She leaned in again, "Just help me forget tonight."_

* * *

Everything is quiet and dull. The sky is a grimly grey overcast and even the trees seem to be drooping in sadness. The air is still, not even the hint of a breeze. Everything feels stiff as Pepper places the wreath into the water and Morgan asks "What's Mommy doing?"

Steve spots Nick on the porch, just behind Maria. After the ceremony is over, he walks over to his old boss.

Nick greets him with apologetic eyes, "I'm sorry to hear about Romanoff."

"Thank you," Steve replies. He takes a moment before asking, "Did you know we were soulmates?"

"I had my suspicions," the former director admits while watching the gathering begin to disperse. "I knew you both had soul marks, and that was a small part of why I partnered you together in the first place."

"How come you never said anything?" Steve's voice acquires an edge, "We could've had more time if we'd known."

Nick gives him an indifferent look, "You two had the time you were given. That was a gift, and you used it how you were meant to use it. That's how the soul marks work, it lets people make their own decisions and be grateful for what they have since they never will know for certain until it's over."

It's the hard truth, but he still has difficulty swallowing it. "But still," he protests, "We could've had more time."

"I'm sorry, Rogers," is all Fury says before turning away. "I truly am."

* * *

_He's warm, wrapped up in the bedsheet with Nat sprawled across his chest. Her red roots were beginning to grow back with the edges still platinum blonde, he idly played with the strands while she snored away the morning. They were both up late the night before getting back from Europe with another failed lead on Clint, but he still wondered how she could sleep so late._

_The clock read 11:48 A.M. and he really hoped she woke up soon because his stomach was starting to cramp from the lack of nourishment. The loud rumbles did nothing to disturb her so far, but time would tell._

_12:13 P.M., she finally opened her eyes. Blearily she assessed her surroundings before sending him a warm smile. _God, he loved her smile_, he thought as she leaned up to kiss him._

"_Afternoon." She greeted as she stretched, "You ready for lunch?"_

"_We haven't had breakfast yet…" He said dubiously._

"_Yeah, but it's the afternoon. That's lunchtime."_

_His expression remained doubtful, "We could always have breakfast for lunch."_

_Nat hopped out of the bed, unrumpling her (really it was his) sleeping shirt. "I'm not in the mood for breakfast. I want a fluffernutter."_

"_A what?" Now he was really confused._

"_A fluffernutter," she articulated, "You haven't had one before?"_

_When he shook his head, she rolled her eyes. "You're really missing out, Rogers. I keep forgetting you're a fossil."_

"_Hey!" Steve feigned a wounded expression, but she didn't fall for it._

"_Come on, It's delicious!" Nat raced out of the bedroom while he just followed her blankly._

_In the kitchen, she pulled out a jar of peanut butter, some bread, and a jar of marshmallow fluff._

"_Is this healthy?" He held up the jar of fluff to inspect the calorie content. "There's a lot of sugar in here."_

"_Shush, Steve," Nat commanded as she gave him a knife. "You'll burn the calories off later on your run."_

"_Or in the bedroom," he sent her a flirtatious wink which she rolled her eyes at._

"_Is that all you think about?" She scoffed._

"_Pretty much, yeah."_

"_Who knew Captain America had such a dirty mind."_

"_I blame you. You got me addicted to sex." He pressed himself up against her back as she continued to make the sandwiches, pressing several kisses down her neck. Nat's breath caught as he found the particularly sensitive spot._

"_Stop it or you're gonna give me a hickey!" She pushed him away playfully, failing to hide the smile on her face._

"_Like you don't enjoy it too."_

_She refused to answer, cutting the two sandwiches into triangles now. Handing him a plate, she grasped his hand and led him towards the door. "Where are we going?"_

"_You'll see," she said with a smirk._

_Nat took him to a small pavilion on the lake, with a couple of wooden benches that she plopped down on with her legs crossed to hold her plate._

"_This is new," Steve observed as he sat down next to her._

"_I've been building it in my free time," She admitted in between bites. "Rhodey and Carol have been helping me."_

"_It's nice." Steve told her as she beamed proudly. She had a smear of peanut butter on her cheek, which he wiped off. _

"_How come you decided to build it?" He asked._

"_I needed something to do to keep busy at first," she confessed softly. "So, I was just trying to maintain the building and grounds, but then I found this spot and I decided I wanted to build something here."_

"_It's awesome. I didn't know my girlfriend was such an engineer." Steve praised her warmly. Nat ducked her head as her cheeks colored._

"_I'm capable of many things, Rogers. Don't underestimate me." Her forest eyes twinkled as she laughed._

"_I would never."_

* * *

He has no hesitation in volunteering to take the stones back. Nothing is keeping him here anyways.

Bucky and Sam both offer to go with him, but he declines, "This is something I've gotta do on my own."

His best friend hugs him before he leaves, "I'm sorry about Natasha, Stevie." He doesn't ask about the watch or say anything else. Sam is oblivious to it all as he wishes Steve good luck, frowning at the way Steve flinches.

Bruce powers up the machine once Steve's in position, giving him a thumbs up as he disappears.

New York is chaos, but the easiest two to place since he knows the city and tower like the back of his hand. Camp Lehigh is slightly more difficult with them still hunting for the two intruders who'd vanished just minutes earlier (had it only been a few days ago he was here with Tony?). The power stone is surprisingly simple since Quill's still knocked out clueless and the other Nebula is not in sight. Asgard is impossible until he meets Thor's mother, who seems to just know what he was here to do.

"Hello, you must be my son's friend." She appraises him with Thor's piercing eyes as she spots Mjolnir in his hand. "You look weary, please help yourself to some food and drinks before you leave."

Platters of food are spread across the table, ones he's never seen before, but they smell divine. He only takes small amounts at the Queen's insistence (He can see where Thor got his caring side from). Steve does pocket a few bottles of Asgardian ale for future use before Frigga tells him he can leave the injection meant for Jane Foster with her.

"I'll take care of it, my boy." Her eyes glint knowingly, "You've had enough hard tasks to complete, allow me to do this for you."

"Thank you, ma'am." He says as she leaves him with an assurance he can stay as long as he needs since the guards won't let anyone in.

He's got the time, so he sits for a while to enjoy the lavish view of the realm (Thor was right, his home was beautiful). He wishes he can put off the inevitable forever; but the weight of the next stone nips at his conscience, and although he doesn't think he'll ever be ready, Tony's words ring in his mind: _"You owe it to her to go back. Finish what we started."_

The last stone glitters elegantly in the light of the Asgardian sun, but Steve only feels pain when he looks at it. Taking a deep breath, he activates the particle. _I'm coming Nat._

* * *

_He's a little offended that she's paying more attention to the movie than him. Nat's curled up against his side, tucked under a blanket despite the fact that the heater's on full blast (Not that he could blame her, he just wished she'd share the blanket a bit more). A snowstorm had delayed his trip back to New York, so they were taking full advantage of the excuse to stay shut in and have a movie marathon._

"_I don't get what's so good about this movie," He complained as she clenched the blanket closer to her._

"_Shhh!" She put her hand across his face, much to his annoyance. "This is the really sad part."_

_Grumbling to himself, he goes back to watching the movie. A couple of minutes later, Nat has tears running down her face as the actor on screen said good-bye to his dog. It is sad, but not enough to reduce him to tears like his girlfriend._

"_How can you be so heartless?" She scolded him once the credits started rolling, "_Marley & Me _is an excellent movie!"_

_Shrugging his shoulders, he gave her a half-smile, "I just don't see the appeal."_

"_Heartless." She scoffed as she rose to refill the popcorn bowl, "I'm adding more dog movies to the list. You need to learn to appreciate them."_

"_I thought the point of the list was to teach me pop culture references so I could keep up with Tony!" He shot back. She didn't reply, pointedly ignoring him until she came back into the room._

"_So, I get to pick now?" He asked eagerly, he'd been wanting to check out Indiana Jones for a while. She shoved his hand away from the remote, clicking on a different title instead._

"101 Dalmatians?_" Steve read the title with disbelief, "Why are you hijacking movie night?"_

"_Because you need to appreciate a good fluff movie." She added, "Plus it's Disney, you can't go wrong with Disney."_

_Rubbing his eyes, he suppressed a groan as the opening title came on. His girlfriend smirked at him before leaning close to his ear, "You know you love me. Even if I have terrible movie choices."_

"_You're lucky I love you for the amount of mindless stuff you make me watch." Still, he wrapped his arm around her as she nestled herself against his chest, with the large blanket cocooning the both of them._

* * *

The planet is eerily enchanting, something straight out of a sci-fi movie. He thinks of Star Wars and how R2-D2 was Nat's favorite character.

("He's a snarky little robot! What isn't there to love about him?").

He lets his memories haunt him as he climbs the mountain, unable to not think of her while in this place. As he approaches the top, as Clint warned him, he spots his old adversary.

"Welcome Steven, son of Sarah." Schmidt looks like a dementor now (he likes to think Nat would be proud of his pop culture references), a torn black robe, that fact that he floats, and how the air around him is freezing.

"Schmidt," Steve grits out, "I've come to return the stone."

It shines maliciously in his palm, and although he knows it's a long-shot, "If I give it back, can Natasha come back?"

Red Skull's face remains the same, "You cannot. Once made, a sacrifice cannot be undone."

"So, what if I decide to keep it? Not give it back?"

"That is your decision to make." Schmidt tells him, "But I advise you to remember your original plan: the stones must be returned so what you accomplished will not be undone."

"How do you know that?" Steve challenges.

"I am the guardian. I know many things."

"But if I keep the stone, won't you be free?"

"Perhaps," Schmidt says, "But are you doing it for my freedom?"

_No_, Steve admits silently, _I'd be doing it for myself. It's my last piece of her._

"I think you are wrong, Captain," his enemy advises (oh the irony). "Her body still lays at the bottom of the cliff." Steve's eyebrows shoot up at that. "Normally the dead are required to stay here in both soul and body, but if you return the stone, I will allow you take her body."

"How do I know you aren't lying? Why can't I take the stone and her body?" He grasps Mjolnir tighter now and lightning cackles menacingly beneath his fingers.

"You cannot hurt me anymore, Captain." Schmidt warns him, his dark eyes cold. "And I would not lie, because regardless of if you take the stone today or I wait a few more years for Lord Thanos to do so, I will be free eventually. This is a way for you to ensure the safety of the universe however, I am merely giving you options."

"You're acting like you care about what happens to the universe, why?"

"My penance has taught me many things, Captain. One of which is perspective. The actions I took on Earth were rooted to my desire for control, and now where I have none and must simply be an observer, I know things. Such as that you will never forgive yourself if you do not return the stone and ensure the safety of billions."

"Wouldn't you like it if I made that decision though? The selfish one?"

"My old self would, but like I said, Captain. I have changed." His old adversary states mysteriously.

It's hard to read what Schmidt's true intentions are, but Steve knows he has to follow the Ancient One's directions and fulfill Bruce's promise to her. _Finish what we started, for Tony and Nat._

Launching his arm back, he tosses the stone over the edge where it disappears right before touching the bottom.

* * *

"_Auntie Nat!" The three-year-old screamed in joy as she ran towards Nat's outstretched arms._

"_How's my little Zvezda?" His girlfriend asked as she spun Morgan in a wide circle. The little girl's giggles bounced across the driveway to where Steve was standing wearily._

"_Who's that, Auntie Nat?" Morgan pointed at him with curious eyes (Tony's eyes)._

"_That's my friend, Steve." The red-head told Morgan, "Why don't you go find your Mom and Dad for me, okay?"_

_As the three-year-old ran back inside, Nat walked up to Steve, lacing their hands together. "It'll be fine, Steve. You'll see."_

_Nodding, he followed her towards the house. His nerves causing a fire to erupt in his stomach, this would be the first time he'd see Tony since he came back from space. They lived in a nice secluded lake house, and the interior was clearly all Pepper's doing._

_The ginger in question greeted them heartily, "Natasha! Steve! Welcome." She pulled them both in for hugs, and Steve was immensely glad for this woman's existence in that very moment because that was when Tony chose to come out, Morgan attached to his hip._

"_Red," Tony gave her a nod before locking eyes with Steve. His old friend's eyes were cold, but he still said, "Capsicle."_

"_Stark."_

"_I hope you guys came hungry," Pepper drew the attention back to herself. "I spent all morning making a beef brisket."_

"_Oh yum, come help me set the table for lunch, Zvezda." Nat grabbed her goddaughter from Tony, conveniently leaving Steve alone with him._

_They stayed silent for a few minutes, Tony fidgeting with his holographic designs while Steve observed the pictures arranged around the family room. There were a couple of Tony and Pepper, a few of their family, and several of just Morgan. She was an adorable child, inheriting Tony's eyes but the rest of her charm was all Pepper._

"_She's a cute kid," He complimented, turning towards Tony._

"_She gets it all from me." His old friend kept his back to the blond._

"_Nah, I think the majority of it is Pepper."_

"_Actually, you're right, she gets all her personality from me." He snorted, widening a holograph to inspect further._

"_What are you looking at?" He came to stand closer to look over Tony's shoulder._

_He waited a few moments before saying, "I'm building Pepper an iron suit."_

"_Really?"_

"_It's mostly a side hobby. I work on it whenever she's not around."_

"_Neat."_

"_Yup," Tony popped the 'p'. The air was tense as the conversation fizzled out, the only noise coming from the girls in the kitchen._

_Sucking up his courage, Steve finally said, "I'm sorry about everything."_

_Tony still kept his back to him, but acknowledged it with a quick "me too"._

_The conversation was stilted over lunch, but more out of unfamiliarity with each other's lives rather than the tense anger that had lingered for so many years. After that day, he and Nat made the trip once a month to see the Stark family. Almost immediately Morgan started to call him Uncle Steve and jumped for joy when they came to babysit her._

_Usually it was a way for the four adults to relax and catch up amidst their busy lives, but every once in a while, Tony would pull him aside to show him the progress he was making on Pepper's suit, claiming Steve was the only who knew about it "so who else I am gonna use as a sounding board, Capsicle?" Steve just appreciated the excuse to renew their friendship._

* * *

He says nothing else to Red Skull, instead slowly making his way to the edge of the cliff. A small stairway appears when he reaches the precipice, and his heart drops as he sees her. She's tiny from this height, but he can tell her limbs are skewed at awkward angles. He desperately hopes she didn't feel the pain when she landed.

There's no hesitation now, he races down the stairway, choking back a sob when he reaches her body minutes later. Her skin is pallor, edges of frost creeping on it. Her hair still fit snugly in the braid, the white tendril of blonde interloping between the red. Her eyes, forever unseeing, stare listlessly at him, faded to a dim green.

Shutting them gently, he registers how cold she is as he cradles his body in his arms. Finally letting his sobs out after days of holding them back, he cries into her neck.

* * *

_They never bring up the soul mark on her hip. It's marred and hard to make the words out, but he was sure she'd memorized them long ago. Someone tried to take her soul mark away from her once upon a time, through procedures done by the Red Room he was sure, but it still clung to her skin like a stubborn piece of fuzz. It was a part of herself that the Red Room had never succeeded in taking away from her, and he knew she was proud of that fact._

_In odd hours he would find her tracing the mark, whether it was when they laid in bed with nothing on or through the material of her clothes. She caught him staring a few times, but still, they never talked about it. It was an agreement between them. To protect the fragile little bubble they had built around themselves._

_Upon reflection, he wondered what would have happened if he ever told her about his own._

* * *

The cold begins to creep up on him too, and it's one of the only reasons he finally moves. Lifting her gently, his legs protest from staying stiff for so long, but he ignores it. Her soul mark is hidden beneath her catsuit, but he traces the spot it as he stands. The tears stopped a while ago, but his eyes are still red from wiping them so often and his hair is disheveled, but he doesn't care. His only focus is his soulmate in his arms.

He clings to her tightly as the vortex warps them forward.

Bruce, Bucky, and Sam are waiting for him when he arrives. They say nothing when they see Natasha in his arm, only rushing forward to help him by trying to grab Mjolnir and the pack containing Asgardian ale.

The hammer drops with a heavy thud under Bucky's unworthy grasp (he had yet to be updated on how the hammer only works for some) while Sam raises a brow when he sees the contents of the pack. Steve bares them no mind as he walks towards the facility, going straight to their bedroom and laying her down.

Clint will be on his way to see her, as will the others, but first Steve unclasps the arrow necklace and ring on the chain. He'll leave the necklace for Clint to keep since he gave it to her originally, but the ring Steve puts on his dog tags. He's not ready to part with it just yet.

* * *

"_Steve, what's this?" Her voice rang from behind him as he poured a glass of orange juice._

"_What's what?" He asked, taking a sip._

"_The ring I found in your sock drawer."_

"_Wh –" he tried to get out, but began to choke instead. Coughing roughly, Nat rubbed his back as he regained his breath. "You found it?"_

_She raised an eyebrow at him, "You still think you can keep things hidden from me?"_

"_Not everything!" He muttered, "Just some things."_

"_Then you need to get more creative about your hiding places."_

"_We have a no snooping agreement!" Steve pointed at her accusingly, "I thought you would honor my cloth drawers at the very least."_

"_Not when my feet get cold and your socks are cozier." Nat deadpanned, a smirk sliding onto her face, "Your girlfriend's wellbeing beats your silly rules."_

_Love swelled in his chest at the sight of her standing in front of him victorious, she was beautiful when she made that face. But he had a card of his own to play still he thought with a smile. "I don't know about girlfriend."_

_Nat's lips curved downwards sharply, "What do you mean?"_

_His hands slid over her slender ones, cupping them as they still held the ring. "I was thinking more along the lines of wife."_

_Eyes widening in realization, Nat's green eyes darted between their hands and his face for a few moments. "Are you serious, Rogers? Because if you aren't, I swear –"_

"_I would never joke about something like this, Nat." He told her, his blue eyes locking onto hers._

_Gauging his expression for a second, she returned the smile on his face almost instantly. "Then yes, I'd like to be your wife."_

* * *

They bury her next to the pavilion she built (somehow it managed to survive the explosion, but Steve's thankful since it's another piece of her he still has). The wake is bigger this time, with those who were lost in the snap returned. They feast on Thai takeout with Russian Vodka because that was her favorite meal (he always teased her about how she couldn't cook, and she'd just punch him in the arm).

Steve breaks out one of his Asgardian alcohol bottles to numb himself, while Bucky joins in never having tried it before. He's buzzing when Wanda starts a bonfire and the stories begin.

"Remember the time she caught me trying to steal from her Oreo stash? She had me running ten miles every day for the next week!" Sam shares with a laugh.

"She taught me how to be a better fighter." Wanda says as her eyes watch the dancing fire, "How not to rely on my powers."

"I remember when she first came to SHIELD, how she'd stash weapons all over the place in case she needed to make a quick escape." Clint's more animated than he had been in days. "Even in offices that weren't hers. So, one day, I run into Coulson who had found a gun on the inside of his computer freaking out since he had no clue how it got there. Went to Fury about it and everything, that afternoon we had a meeting about not taking weapons outside of the storage room. Tasha just sat there the whole time looking completely innocent, not letting Fury know for sure it was her, but the next day all the weapons were gone."

"I remember that!" Hill chimes in, her blue eyes sparkling, "Fury was pissed that he never found out who did that."

"She was damn good at her job, that's why." Clint's voice was full of pride.

The conversation continues as more people speak up, but Steve steps away at this point. He slips into the shadows as he fingers the ring on his neck, he barely hears Bucky follow him.

"Hey punk," His best friend says, eyeing the ring that rests on Steve's finger matching the one in his grasp. "So, she was the one?"

"Yeah," Steve admits, flashing back to their conversation right before the war. "You were right. She didn't take one look at me and run away, she was one of the few that stayed by my side through it all."

Bucky's eyes with sympathy, he rests a large hand on Steve's shoulder. "I'm sorry you had to lose her so soon, but you had some happy years, right?"

The blond nods stiffly, "It still doesn't feel like enough time. I don't know what I'm supposed to do now that she'd gone."

"I'll be here, Stevie. Til the end of the line, remember?" Bucky promises.

"Til the end of the line." Steve smiles for the first time in days, and although it's weak, Bucky calls it progress.

* * *

_They got married under the pavilion she loved so dearly._

_Morgan was the flower girl, dressed up in a lovely pink gown as she excitedly skipped down the aisle, throwing rose petals up high. Tony is his best man while Pepper is the sole bridesmaid. Rhodey got officiated online to become the minister._

_("Why did you make him the officiator?" Tony whined when they told him. Natasha rolled her eyes while Steve just glared at him._

"_Perhaps because he's the only one who will take the position seriously?" Pepper suggested, "Unlike the person I married."_

_The soon-to-be-married couple laughed simultaneously with Nat confirming, "That's exactly why!")_

_They invited their friends to join. Bruce, Thor, Nebula, Okoye, and Rocket were present while Carol cheered on from a holo-communicator (Nobody mentioned a certain archer's disappearance)._

_Nat, who refused to be a blushing bride, walked down the aisle in a cream knee-length dress with wildflowers braided into her hair. Rhodey kept the ceremony short and simple (their favorite way to do things) and the reception was filled with Russian cuisines that Steve learned how to make just for his new wife._

_They danced and celebrated with their friends and full hearts, knowing their lives to be complete in that moment._

* * *

He still thought of her every day, _hell_ trying to get out of bed some mornings is impossible. But he tries to honor her and Tony's memory by finishing their work.

With Pepper's financial aid and the rest of the Avenger's help, he begins to rebuild the facility. It's a long project, but once it's done he plans on giving up his apartment in Brooklyn and moving there full time. It's become his home with Nat, and he knows she would be happy that he's keeping it in shape in her absence.

The Avengers are helping the world rebuild, with Sam and Rhodey leading the team now. A lot of the team have their own lives to continue and are scattered around the Earth (or universe in Thor and Nebula's case), but will often help out when necessary. Peter is the most eager to help, although his aunt and Happy are still adamant that he concentrates on school first, then superhero stuff. Steve doesn't go out on many missions anymore since his focus is the reconstruction, but maybe one day he'll pick up the shield again.

One of the first sections rebuilt was the gym, where the team does train. It's less lonely with them around, so Steve tells them they can use it whenever they wish. Eventually, mission debriefs and a medical center are built too, beginning to make it look like the old headquarters. Even though he doesn't join them, Steve usually sees them off for every mission, never saying "good luck" though.

Bucky is by his side like always, helping to make sure he takes care of himself while Steve helps him adjust to the modern world. They visit Wakanda frequently to get away sometimes, where Bucky seems to relax a lot more.

Wanda spends half her time at the facility with them and half of her time at the farm with Clint and his family. She's missing Vision and Natasha, but babysitting the kids eases her pain since they take so much after their Auntie Nat. Ever since the wake, Steve hasn't heard from Clint, and he fears that their friendship may never be the same since the archer still feels that his best friend's death is largely Steve's fault. He understands the difficulty and just keeps his distance.

Morgan is growing up quickly and outgrowing the pair of Gucci's Steve bought her a few months ago. He'll visit soon with another bright pink pair and perhaps an Iron Man teddy bear. She calls him Uncle Steve when he visits and he scoops her up into a big hug. Sometimes she asks her mommy and him where Daddy and Auntie Nat are, which the two adults take turns having to tell the five-year-old that they're gone, but that they love her very much.

Most days, he finds himself out on the pavilion with a fluffernutter sandwich (Bucky can't understand why he eats the sandwich so much and Steve doesn't have the heart to recall that day), or sometimes Thai, and he talks to her.

"You know for so long I wished I never had a soulmate." He says in between bites. "But when I fell in love with you, I'd secretly hoped you were my soulmate."

His eyes trace the words on his wrist that he openly shows now. _See you in a minute_. "A part of me is still angry that you never kept your promise. But I know you did what you had to do to save the world."

A tear begins to fall now and he wonders if he'll ever be able to stop crying when he has these chats with her. "Perhaps for you, it will be a minute, you'll wake up in the afterlife and I'll be there. I hope so, it's agony having to go so long without the one you love. Or maybe you have Tony keeping you company up there."

Chuckling at the thought of Tony and Nat annoying each other in heaven, he chokes back another sob. He fingers her ring on his dog tags, "I love you, Nat. And even though it's been more than a minute, I'll see you again one day."


	2. it may be hours, but now we have forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Very short piece with Natasha's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never intended to expand on this, but this came out today. It's much shorter than the first chapter, but it's also from Natasha's POV. I like it and I hope you do too.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel.

"Good luck," Steve says to her, a smile on his lips. Stopping her bounce for a moment, she studies her husband's eyes as ice shoots through her veins.

_He's my soulmate_, Natasha realizes instantly. Steve recognizes that something isn't right immediately, but she stows her emotions away before he can catch it. Resuming her dance, she sends him a radiant smile while simultaneously memorizing his face.

Blinking back the tears, she reverts to humor to hide her pain from him, "See you in a minute." The hum of the machine distracts her as she turns her attention to see it open up and transport them; hyper-aware of Steve's gaze on her the whole time as she's sucked into the vortex.

When they land on Morag, she quickly wipes away the straying tears before turning to say good-bye to Rhodey and Nebula. The cyborg catches the spy's gaze with a knowing glance and Natasha's blood runs cold again. The dots instantly connect to when Nebula told them about the soul stone and how two people went for it, and how only one came back.

Every human knows the legend of soulmates and how once you hear the words, you know who they are. But it's also the last time you ever see them again. And Steve just said her words, making him her soulmate.

It all connects at that moment when Natasha realizes she will be the one to die.

Curtailing her emotions again to keep this revelation secret, Natasha gives Nebula a curt nod before they part ways. Her thoughts are dark as Clint and her scale the mountain, worry about Steve building in the pit of her stomach. She's grateful it will be her dying, not her husband. It's cruel to say, but Steve will have friends to support him. Tony, Bucky, Sam, Clint, Wanda and more once they reverse this mess.

But still: how will he react?

And another question lingers: should she tell Clint about this new information? _No,_ she decides, _he'd just tie me down and try to sacrifice himself instead._ Her best friend already felt guilty enough about missing the wedding and being absent for the last five years; she can't put this on his shoulders too. Natasha just hopes that in the end her husband and best friend will be able to help each other get through this mess.

They reach the top and Red Skull (Natasha's _really_ glad Steve isn't here for that part) reveals what she already knows. Selfishly allowing herself a few more moments with her best friend, Natasha realizes that she's going to have to fight Clint for the right to die. The fight that ensues is difficult, but fate is on her side and the master spy manages to get the upper hand in the end.

As Clint tries to desperately figure out how to save her, she just smiles at him with accepting green eyes.

"Tell Steve I love him."

Clint blinks helplessly at her when with no hesitation she kicks off of the cliff.

* * *

She wakes in an imperfect afterlife without her soulmate and it's there that she finally lets her tears fall.

* * *

"Agent Romanoff," A familiar cocky voice interrupts her dozing. "You miss me?"

Her lips turn into a frown as she views the figure blocking her sun. She's lying next to a pool with a vodka martini in hand, where the delicate glass clinks against the ring on her finger.

"How could I, Shellhead?" Natasha retorts, her green eyes narrowing into daggers. "You didn't give me any time to actually miss you."

Tony's cockiness fades at her words, morphing into a sad smile. "I couldn't leave you here alone, Red. What kind of gentleman would that make me?"

"The one that should've stayed behind with his wife and kid." Her tone is sharp with disappointment and sympathy.

"Like you couldn't have done the same with your husband?"

Natasha looks down, catching the glint of her wedding ring in the sun. Her newly unblemished soul mark is barely visible over the top of her bikini bottom, but she mentally hears his parting words.

_"_ _Good luck."_

The words she never thought she'd hear from his lips. It was ironic that in all their years together and all of the dangerous missions never once had those two words been uttered between them. It was rare for people to say it to her since she _really_ was that good at her job.

Although Natasha had secretly hoped her soulmate was Steve all along, with him being the only man she ever truly loved, hearing the words from his lips had been surprising. She hadn't even _known_ her husband had a soul mark though, which made her feel like a lousy spy. But if she were a betting woman, she'd say it was under that old wristwatch he never took off.

"Where were Steve's words?" She halts her thought process to ask Tony, sensing that he would know the answer.

"Underneath his wristwatch," Tony replies quietly. Natasha nods, not feeling better that she was right. Ever since she learned the truth, a piece of her yearned for Steve's presence. The other half of her soul was literally missing.

Tony moves to take the lounge chair adjacent to her, clad in a hideous Hawaiian shirt and swim trunks which prove to be the perfect distraction from her pain. Taking her hand in his, Tony squeezes it tightly. "He'll be okay, Nat. He and Pepper will take care of each other."

Looking upward to the crystal-clear sky (the color of Steve's eyes) to blink back the tears, her lips finally curl upwards. "I know. Because we take care of each other."

"It's what family does," her new afterlife pal murmurs. He glances over to the side table where a cold beer appears on a coaster and he picks it up to take a sip. "This place is nice, it knows exactly what I'm thinking. Does it have FRIDAY?"

Natasha snorts into her drink, "I'm sure you can invent a FRIDAY for the afterlife, but usually whatever you want just appears." Downing her drink, another instantly appears next to her to enjoy which she sips gingerly.

Tony squeezes her hand again. "You miss him don't you?"

"Of course I do," Natasha says, being able to see the same pain in his eyes that she feels. "We spent nearly every day of the last three years together. I love him. He convinced me to get married." Her voice breaks as she continues, "He's my soulmate."

She downs the second drink as the ache intensifies, but another one doesn't appear this time. The spy plays with her wedding ring instead, admiring the simple design of it. Steve had gone for practical touch rather than an ornate one when picking out the ring, which fit Natasha's lifestyle perfectly. It should how much Steve knew her and what she constantly did: keeping up with their line of work in addition to maintaining the compound in a livable condition.

Wiping away yet another stray tear (when did she become the woman who cried every other minute?), she turns to smile at Tony. "I guess I'm stuck with you for eternity."

"Yeah," Tony looks down at his wedding ring.

"What heroic thing did you do to end up here?" Natasha asks with a teasing lilt, trying to lighten the mood slightly.

Over the next hour, Tony explains the events that happened after she died. It breaks her heart to hear about Steve wanting to stay in the past and the mental anguish he felt when it became more obvious that she would be the one to die, not him. Sniffling a little, she continues to listen until Tony finishes, pulling him in for a tight hug when he finally relays his death.

"I never had any doubt that Pepper was the one," Tony's voice cracks as he says. While wiping away his tears, he slings his arm around Natasha to pull her closer, "But it still hurt to leave her once we said the words."

"Yeah," Natasha agrees. "But did you enjoy the time you had with her and Morgan?"

"Of course."

"Then that's what we'll focus on. The time we had with them."

Tony grunts, "Only because I'm tired of being sappy." He jumps to his feet, pulling Natasha with him. "Now show me the highlights of this afterlife while we wait for our better halves to join us."

"I don't know how Pepper lived with you," Natasha teases him. "You're going to drive me insane."

Tony just rolls his eyes, but they enjoy their time together while waiting for their soulmates.

* * *

It's several years later, but eventually, Natasha and Steve meet again.

"You lied," he tells her.

"Huh?" Her eyes look up at him questioningly while her arms are circled around his neck.

They're swaying along to slow music when he smiles down at her. "It was more than a minute, Nat."

"Oh," her gaze turns in shame.

But it's only for a second when he lifts her chin with his finger, "But I forgive you, _soulmate_. Because we're here now."

"We'll talk about you hiding your soul mark later," Natasha promises him with a fake glare. "Because you're right, we're here now. _Soulmate_."

Still dancing, their lips meet and all is right in their world again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to make it a little happy in the end. And I had to give Steve his last dance with Nat because they were my endgame.

**Author's Note:**

> Translations:
> 
> il est conseillé d'appeler immédiatement les fonctionnaires - you are advised to call officials immediately
> 
> fugitivos van por el Capitán América, Soldado de Invierno, Falcon - fugitives go by Captain America, Winter Soldier, Falcon
> 
> Zvezda - star
> 
> This was a soulmate AU where you find out the identity by the last words they say to you. It's a brutal one, and yet it fits perfectly into the Endgame storyline with my favorite ship.
> 
> I'm sorry if that hurt to read, it wasn't any easier to write it. I did try to put as much fluff as I could in between, but this is mostly Steve's angsty self as he tries to make it through Endgame with the knowledge that he or Nat's gonna die... Tony is awesome at supporting him here, unfortunately, Steve had to lose him too :(
> 
> But for those of you who go this far, thank you for reading!
> 
> New note about plot inconsistency:  
Tony's words are what he says to Pepper and vice versa. Nat's words are what Steve will say to her and vice versa. I didn't have the heart to go back to change it since that scene with Pepper and Steve talking is one of my favorites so I'll let my mistake be preserved here forever. Virtual cookies for those who figured it out :)


End file.
